Do you want to be your mom? Answer Honestly

MOTHER a meaningful and equally beautiful 6 letter word in english; M stands for “Merciful”, O stands for “Openhearted”, T stands for “Tender”, H stands for Hero, E stands for “endearing” , R stands for “Resilient”. Mother is a powerful word, but a mother does she have any power in the family? Surely, she is resilient and empowered on her own, but a mother’s suffering is always given a blind eye to. So as the title goes, here is a question to you all, answer honestly “Do you want to be your mother?” You must be thinking why I am asking this question, my mother is one of the most strong, resilient, merciful, forgiving, tender and knowledgeable woman I have seen and need I say multi-talented, she can teach, cook, single, she is fun to be with, she can stitch, write, paint, she is just a wonder. She shares wisdom to many children, she teaches. But is she treated well, with equality, with respect? Is she kept happy? I dont think so. But this is not just my mother’s story, its many women’s story, many mothers story. And so this needs to be acknowledged, the sooner the better. When a girl is born she is like a butterfly always exploring and learning, with dreams to touch the sky. When a woman is given education , she is infused with a colourful dream of becoming someone worthy and well-respected everywhere in the family or in the society. And when she marries, she is thrilled for happy uplifting companionship. But thats not what all women receive from their families or from a married life. She is given two families one her own, and another what she learns to see as her own, her husband’s family. For both families she works, she works a little hard to keep them happy. But does these families care if she is happy? In many families the answer is NO.My dads mother was very rude to my mom for a longer period of time, recently when my mom visited her she had a changed opinion but it took more than 25 years for her to realise what a good woman my mom was or rather accept even though it was just infront of my mom and nobody else. My mom has nothing but kind to her and her family. My mother and her family was hurt by comments and remarks from my dads family especially his mother and sisters. There are many mothers like mine, to whom I want to applogies for the whole societies behaviour from the bottom of my heart. But when woman have to married men who are drunkards or drug-takers, abusers or womanisers what all they will have to face under them? My mom have suffered huge abuse and she still is, its sad to say that we cannot do anything, because she choose her marriage over everything. Divorce is out of her thoughts. She is devoted and loyal , but it hurts me to watch her suffer. All she keeps saying is that “ I am blessed to have three lovely kids” . My dad he is not a womaniser, but he is an abuser, both physical and verbal. He have bet up my mother and us children very badly. But mostly my mother had to face alot under him and still she does. Going back to my childhood, I dont have all colourful memories and butterflies, I had tensions, scars and sleepless nights. There would be nights I would cry out and hide. So when I ask this question to myself that do I want to be my mom? I have a mixed answer yes and No. I want to be what she is interms of her talent and goodness , but I dont want to be as helpless and naive as she is. I dont want to suffer in silence and pain, for no return. I dont want to be the victim. I dont want to beat up and hurt. I dont want to be the face of helplessness. I dont want to be the martyr. I would rather be strong and independent. I would rather divorce an abuser than be a wife to him. I hope we all have the courage and state to leave an abuser and start our own. Most importantly, I hope our families will receive us with open arms if we choose to come out of an abusive and unhappy marriage.